Building Love

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Building Love

So here again we are in another post-day #yayy! Yea, apologies on the delay of the excerpt I promised on ’’The 5 Love Languages’’, I didn’t forget… I only have been having exciting turns of events in my life lately and so the delay. Soon fam, really soon.

A gist has been circulating on my end and I’d so love to let you in on it, but before then tell me… How do you think love happens?

It can be so annoying when you’ve all so heard talks of how you just know someone is the person for you because there’s a tingling feeling whenever you see that person. Or the many tales of love-at-first-sight. Or the many relationships that go down the drain because the partners chose to convince themselves by saying ’’they never really loved themselves”. Or even those marriages that happened because they told themselves they had this strong, fierce sensation about each other. But in times I’ve come to realize that marriage is work, some relationships too are (even though that shouldn’t be necessary). The person you are with determines what the turn of your relationship would be. Here let me say this, In a relationship, it often times should be the guy doing the chasing and pleasing and all (I’m not saying ladies shouldn’t express such gestures but there should be an upper hand from the guy) because at that stage, the lady should feel a level of security in preparation for the next possible stage which is marriage in which case most works ‘might’ be in her jurisdiction.

The previous paragraph is often times wrong if not most, because love doesn’t just happen, you make it happen. Love as I keep saying is intentional, very deliberate and takes effort. It’s now up to you in the relationship to determine how long of that time you want to make it happen and stick.

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Many of the relationships I have seen around me are those where they both have a serious liking for themselves and chose to make it work by growing the affection. It is taking those conscious steps to make what you want happen… and this is where the saying ’’loving takes effort’’ comes to play. It is not being forceful about your feelings but rather means devotion… commitment, to that person you have proposed to love. It is a choice to not stop loving that person. It is a decision to choose that person. It is building that excitement and making the feelings you have for that person count. It is choosing to let that person into your world. It is opening your total imperfect self for the person who has chosen to love and stay by your side. Loving is all you’d have it be except the gushing rush of feelings we’ve all been made to believe it to be.

I’d drop it here to continue from another perspective next week. To the gist… guys how far? I heard you all are fighting for my hand in marriage already… Well, the thing still never reach my side o… where the ring? #hehhe.

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RESPECT.

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RESPECT.

What is Respect to you guys?

Could it simply be the kneel-down-to-greet-me everyday gesture from a younger person to an older person? Could it be the worship-me-for-I-am-great personality kinda? Or could it just be the admire-me-let-me-be-your-mentor kinda attitude of fellow persons?

Respect can mean a whole of different things from various perspective amongst categories of individuals and in different situations as places permit.

Respect is due reverence, loyalty and inner admiration for something or someone, simply put. But it sure goes beyond just those in application of gesture. Respect can be when you expect someone to show a form of recognition for a wrong act done by that person, not necessarily apologizing, but the fact that this person acknowledges that something was wrongly expressed could just mean to the offended person that he/she has been shown a little respect… Dignity! Yes, I think that’s the most appropriate word for that expression – Dignity. It is simply protecting the pride of the next person, and I must say to you here that it is way different from being proud… those are two very distinct personality.

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Having pride/dignity is a level of self-esteem and worthiness, not a reproachful act as being proud/ snobbish.

Respect isn’t always just the stand-still-let-me-pass-before-you-can do-anything kind of thing. No, it goes a long way past that. Neither is it just about the age, class, level, sex or whatever you may have or do thing.

Respect they say is honor, an attitude of consideration or high regard for good opinion or prestigious somebody. Respect is – because you admire and put somebody or something in high accord/ esteem. Respect is- you place a level of priority, then you are sincerely polite and acknowledging of a fellow person’s act and words and values and principles. Respect could be about you seeking the opinion or approval on something from somebody you hold dear to your heart or have value for.

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Respect isn’t the shallow bow-down-and-worship-me usual kind of view from the populace. Respect I must say, based on experiences encountered from a sample of persons runs deep and beyond just the surface, and when you lose it would take a lot more than the usual to regain… just as Trust, and so I plead you who is being accorded the respect to even so, Respect it as it is being given (I hope you follow what I mean here).

Respect to me is RECOGNITION, ACKNOWLEDGEMENT, SINCERE and TRUTHFULLY HONORING of a VALUABLE PERSON or CERTAIN SITUATIONS as the atmosphere would justly permit.

Respect, What is Respect to you? You can also put in scenarios… Thank You.

Love Or Lust?

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Love Or Lust?

There’s nothing I ever would say to you here and about relationship or life generally that you’ve never heard, then again I’d say… let’s take reasoning of things from another angle to give a little twitch to it.

Love … Lust … don’t be confused here, yes, they almost have the same pronunciation but are widely apart in meaning.

Permit me to take it from the “Lust” – This is as good as meaning pure infatuation, fleshy desires, crushing, physical satisfaction, sexual arousal, bodily craving, longing for pleasure and all the likes of these that are very temporal and almost unreal.

You feel this guy or lady is totally into you because it seems like they can’t resist the urge to touch you (as in your world now, touching means showing love bah? … my dear, I’m so sorry for you). When the issues start, I tell you, you sure won’t find them hanging around.

Okay don’t get me wrong here, there are times ‘love-making’ is like the only way at that point to express your feel of love for this person, so I’m not saying because you guys get physical it simply means it is pure lust… No, but trust me, there’s a lust for the person in that act. And so I’d need you to understand that there are so many things put together that defines real loving, yes, being physical can be part because let me tell you that from research, it has being concluded that there must be a strong physical attraction between you and the person you intend spending the rest of your live with. Where this attraction is absent is the very start of so many problems of that relationship, but don’t be silly to think that’s a key way to finding your live partner nor base the success of that relationship on the attraction you feel for each other.

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Upon research also, it has been verified that for a guy, they almost would have an erection for every lady they see/meet except on quite rare cases where the lady in question do not appeal to them. So tell me ladies, can that be categorized as love? Will you then tell me it’s just you this guy wants and gets touchy-touchy for? Will you say that it’s a guarantee that you are the one for him or that you are the only one he wants to stay with? (I don’t want to be rude here but truth is I can’t help laughing at the shallowness of that thought!). It is a little unfortunate though that some people just misuse the opportunity they get from their partner who in the event of wanting to show the sincerity of their feelings get trapped in the swirl of emotions from their partner. But my dears, I say that is life and life would always happen… so, pick yourself, dust off and move on!. Get your act and shit together.

Love, Love… Love is sweet, Love is perfect (if there’s anything as that or the least bit close to it). It is the “Only” when stuff gets stiff or extreme. Love is much more than just the words spoken, it is the feeling shared and the action given… So I say,

Stop CONFESSING what you think you feel and Start MANIFESTING what you know and believe!

Love is when you see something could be off in a situation yet you choose to trust (but my dear, I’d tell you to take your brain along!)

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Irrespective of anything else, Love is everything desirable and of compromises made which you may never have to voice the sacrifices made (For this, I’d love over and over again in spite of hurts faced). Love is where your heart is and where that is, you’d always go. Nothing can hold love back and no way can anything get in its way… not pride, not ego, not time. Love can’t wait to give but Lust can’t wait to receive.

In all, Love is peace of mind… despite the in and out, ups and downs that comes with situations… LOVE IS GOLD!

Hey guys, I do hope you found this article worth the read. Tell me, do you think you can tell apart the difference of these two feelings in your emotions? I look forward to your responses. Thank you and lovely weekend ahead friends.

 

… Because Love Is Never Enough.

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… Because Love Is Never Enough.

Have you ever wondered why some relationships don’t end in marriage? Or why some marriages don’t succeed, couples living in the agony of having to accommodate themselves? Had to think of how, along a dating relationship it seems like you no longer had the crazy bubbles you initially did, then you wonder if you still love this person or ever did?  Ever had to think of why not all dating couples get to marry because there is always something petty that springs up and causes argument? Then you are amazed at how even some couples who don’t seem readily in love are able to pull through the storm, ending up well?

At this point you’d begin to realize how… Love isn’t all it takes to keep a relationship or marriage going.

I’ve got to this point quite a number of moments in my personal life and again I brisk myself out of this thought (just in case it is a negative one, ha-ha). But here again I am forced back into this realization. I’ve always tried to push this thought to the last of my brain archive in an attempt to make love move to its uppermost ability #smiling, but somehow in the event of life, it always gush back.

… And then I found this e-book!

Let’s take it from the top here…

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We all must know that indeed Loving is deliberate. It is a conscious act and effort to accepting the whole of another person not because they are perfect or deserving of it but because it is who you ar­­­­­­e (1 John 2 vs 5), (1 John 4 vs 8, 12,16). – And this is only if you know Christ (1 John 5 vs 1), else that love is not a true kind of love (1 John 4 vs 20).

I still remember telling somebody very recently in one of my counseling sessions how I knew Love was almost never the issue in a relationship but the Act of Forgiving is. We humans get tired of accommodating! It could be understanding especially when the offender in that case just insist on doing the same mistake over and over, not wanting to adhere to correction or just plainly stubborn. But let me tell you here that some people seem to be doing the same mistakes because they happen to be doing it in a different way perhaps. It becomes a responsibility for you “the offended” to have the heart of patience and the display of the many fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5 vs 22-23). Times will come when it would seem impossible to go ahead with this person you thought you loved. Times where this person just seem too difficult to understand or accept. In those times, we can call “Test of Love”, something much more than love or other than love has to be used to ‘bring’ back the seemingly lost love.

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So, let me with pleasure refer you to this e-book I earlier spoke about, which I’m also still digesting to get even other meanings to things I’ve learnt from it … By GARY CHAPMAN titled “Things I wish I knew Before Getting Married”. Marriage and even the stages before it would definitely be much better with knowledge as this as indeed, Love is much more than ‘the tingles’ we feel. And yes, also by same author—I’m looking forward to doing an excerpt here on the blog from one of his other books “The Five Love Languages” soon… I’m excited already!

You want a copy of the e-book? Then just ping me on D622EFBA or via email- Horptieluv4ril@yahoo.com – indicating in the subject your request, and I’d gladly share (it’s FREE). You could also decide to download online. Kindly read my ABOUT page to follow up on our social media platforms, Thank You.

LET’S BE A LITTLE CONTROVERSIAL TODAY!

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LET’S BE A LITTLE CONTROVERSIAL TODAY!

Thinking round and round can make you come to a new realization and reassessing of a past occurrence… positively or negatively. Oh yes, that and many more things are accompanied with thinking. Do we then say Thinking shouldn’t be done? I’d say, think but let your thoughts be rightly directed. Let’s rant a little!

So upon thinking one of the many recent free times I’ve got on hand right now, I “ran” into a thought. Here, lemme share it and I do hope to get some amazing feedback…

As it’s well-known, we all, one way or the other… in various forms, get to receive relationship or marriage counseling on how to choose the right partner, how not to marry the wrong person for you, how not to marry someone who isn’t in the same purpose-line or doesn’t compliment as you’ve been created for, marrying the will of God for you and on and on…

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And at some point, you are told to pray about who you are currently in a relationship with, that if such person ain’t the Will of God for your life then such person should start misbehaving and doing stuffs that won’t make staying in the relationship bearable. Then you want to think of that as a clue that the relationship isn’t meant to be, that it is God’s way of telling you to ‘Let Go’ and stuff like that.

Okay here again, let me paint this other scenario… You are currently dating a kinda a partner who… (Should I say)… has had a ‘weird’ growing up. This person happens to have been through “hell” and back. Doesn’t give a damn shit, no two-thoughts about anything. Someone that can be rash in taking decisions and coming to conclusions about everything… takes everything however it comes because in the end, It should always sort itself out. So let’s say fortunately or unfortunately that kind of person began loving you… wants to give it a shot at having a whole different living and God help you, you didn’t know about the bringing up.

Then again, we have the counseling-talks that advise on how so many little stuffs can turn off a partner leading to rifts in the relationship. About how you shouldn’t become clingy, the don’t-be-too-easy for your partner, the get-yourself-some-fun without your partner to show some independence, the don’t-be-too-available for your partner to not look cheap and so many many “DON’T’’. And you come to think of all these and many other underlying counseling chats you might have had, Questions start rising in your minds that… How then do I show love? To what extent am I to show that I care? When is it right for me to stop over-pampering my partner with the show of love and attention? To what amount should I always make myself available to my partner? How am I to make up for the nonchalance of my partner without looking desperate? On and on the thoughts would go!

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How do you think all of this should be balanced? How then can you justify how much care and attention you should give to your partner because you’ve always felt those are the ways to communicate your love…?  How available should you be to your partner’s calls and requests? How do you come to understand this kind of partner? How do you soothe such person and seeing through all these characters to the will of God?

Here let’s share views… Let’s see how we can help guide each other’s thoughts to doing this love-thing right #winks. Thank You!

Blissful Weekend Y’all 🙂 .

 

Celebrating Friendship.

IMG_20140906_163519Celebrating Friendship.

I love my friends almost too much! Friends from way back growing up especially some at some specific moments in life most times would take credit for this unless of course some new ones who just are perfect at being good people and buddies… say yea if you feel me there 😉 . They can be friends like that, they qualify for the saying ‘Friends Indeed’. These people were around when they could have left, tho we obviously played our parts and that’s why it worked and for so long (we gatta give ourselves credit o jare) but still they can be said to have laid a worthy foundation for even these current new friends we’ve got which I bet just seem to keep getting longer and longer despite strictly telling yourself there’s got to be boundary #grinning. I for one just keeps have lots and lots of friends and can perfectly relate with some others as that, you know, now we’ve grown and are like we ought be more focused, just keep the tight friends and let others wander off… but I tell you, it don’t work… mine don’t work!

Friends/Friendships are there for those times needs, helps, necessity arise. You know, when you gatta rally around yourselves and just be there for each other and y’all can just snap and click and just make it all happen. Oh yes, it can be that good, it’s all just based on what kinda foundation y’all must have laid getting each other’s backs out there and that is why laying good past relationship is essential… can’t be over-emphasized, it’s a ridiculously small world, enclosing people yet large mass space. It’s that kinda world you can assume to predict and tack, with a click it’s all around the whole other way.

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I can say its all just a privilege my new friends are enjoying now based on the near perfect foundation my growing-up friends have laid in place… give it a kudos to those who have helped make me a friend enough for you guys now 😉 . I can say that is part reason “I CAN NEVER LEARN’’, *smiling. I have had quite an experience when it comes to dealing with people, some bad ones too, even from some very new friends made, but that just never stops me from ‘being a friend’! You would say there that that should have taught me to be a better person of learning not to be too trusting, but I’d say… Aside it being maybe genetic, it’s who I’ve taught myself to became and I have not a single regret about it… Painful sometimes? Maybe, but in the end it just always pays off emotionally. I won’t be specific about any experiences here but I bet y’all must have had your share of it and so I call you Good People. J . It’s a gesture from the good heart you’ve got and I encourage that you keep it coming because that, the Lord wants.

_DSC4405To my many friends out there… you know I always got your back, thanks for being my friends. You make relating so much fun and very possible.

So now My Lovely Readers, here’s to you… Take out this time, reminisce on old times… Show some love to them-friends, text them, chat them up, whatever… just make sure to catch up on your friends today and just maybe the weekend can be used for hangout/ reunion because yes, we’ve all grown and so much more responsibilities have fallen on us….

Beauty And The Beast 2017.

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Beauty And The Beast 2017.

You probably know how long ago this was first in the movies, I’m thinking 1991… at least I know it was that version that was modified to this year’s own. And don’t be shy, you can tell me just how much you’ve loved and never got bored of it even though you’re a grown adult 🙂 . Yea, that feeling is mutual #grinning. So let’s relish the moments of love (felt) in the movie by munching on every bit of the song sang there. It just swells my heart, the whelming impact can only further get me deeper in love. It’s a good touch to carry through the day and long into the week for that sweet anticipated time with your loved one 😉 …

Beauty

How does a moment last forever
How can a story never die
It is love we must hold onto
Never easy but we try
Sometimes our happiness is captured
Somehow a time and place stands still
Love lives on inside our hearts and always will

Minutes turn to hours, days to years and gone
But when all else has been forgotten
Still our song lives on

Maybe some moments weren’t so perfect
Maybe some memories not so sweet
But we have to know some bad times
Or our lives are incomplete
Then when the shadows overtake us
Just when we feel all hope is gone
We’ll hear our song and know once more
Our love lives on

How does a moment last forever?
How does our happiness endure?
Through the darkest of our troubles
Love is beauty, love is pure
Love pays no mind to desolation
It flows like a river through the soul
Protects, perceives and perseveres
And makes us whole

Minutes turn to hours, days to years and gone
But when all else has been forgotten
Still our song lives on
How does a moment last forever?
When our song lives on

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There! I wish you could have that in audio just so you have a sweet rhythms to hum along. Either way, the words sure does justice to love… softly sweet yet strong. I bid you a lovely weekend filled with love guys 🙂 , Cheers!