What It Takes…

You know that moment everything happens so fast, all happening together; at the same time and then it has taken place? Well yes, that was my last week but above all you come out shining and even brighter knowing the Lord is good.

There never is that new thing that hasn’t happened before, probably it’s a new channel of turn out but my dears, it’s never new, It is life, It is… Welcome to the Real World.

In all it’s about you being positive, knowing to take it in well, staying optimistic, standing tall above all of these; Being the best you can ever be! Don’t be taken or drifted by the wind of life, that is life and how it might want you to be but this is You… You are precious, You are worthy, You are brave, You are strong, You are priceless, You are amazing, You are your unique self. Nobody, No situation, Nothing can take that (away) from you. 

You gotta realize and walk high in that esteem. You gatta determine to live life and live it to the full, to the best you can. Make other aspects of living bloom even when a part seem trembling or tumbling. You stand tall above the wind. You take the wind by the edge and control the whole of it because that is who you can be when you decide to be/ what you can do. You then sit and observe with faith just how God would turn it out and up for your good. You should stay good and kind in spite of all. Be good to yourself and to others. Be gentle ‘cos your-self is also taking in just as much of whatever it is as ‘You’ are. You ask who the ‘You’ there is? Well yes… your body, your spirit, your soul as much as are One(you) are different comPARTment, all ‘human’ of themselves. 

Be calm, then you can strategize. Be sure you have just about only the right set of company around you, they help you understand and accept and appreciate all of the moments of the happening because believe me or not; You’d have to play those scenes going forward in life. Just make sure you have it right at the moment it is all coming on. Then and only then can you say ‘You Conquered’!

Wanna share how your week went? You could just drop a word or two to encourage someone out there too. I love you guys…

Enjoying Your Singleness…

musicEnjoying Your Singleness…

Hey guys!

This is a post I think I had jotted down since late last year or very early this year and of course, it is for you, me and us #smiles. So yea, I say, do you all agree with me on how great being single can be? How satisfying it could be? How desiring it is to have all your time and thoughts to just yourself? In all these, I still will say being with someone who really loves and cares about you is way pleasing to being single *winks.

You know, I’ve seen relationships back then in school when students lived the couple life, giving excuses that one party involved couldn’t secure accommodation and the other person had to accommodate. And this kind of situation gets to the point where the guy would always challenge the girl of(on) her whereabouts and her activities. To not look insecure, he uses phrases as ‘He was lonely the entire day’ or that ‘He was hungry’ or ‘She wasn’t available when he needed her’ etc. Guys, even you need to enjoy your single status! That of course is if you are not dating/ in any relationship. You only get single when you are actually single. But you are in a relationship? My dear, by all means I say enjoy that. It is a privilege to have somebody be into you, love you, cherish you, admire you, care for you and to actually stay with you.

Being single and actually living as a married couple… how then, when do you get to enjoy those moments of not being married yet!? When do you then get to discover those very hidden or little stuff about yourself which takes serious concentration to find? How will you know to distinguish between who ought to be in your life because they fit your living-purpose? How do you know who rightly compliment you and who would make the living right? All these, most times if not all can only be greatly achieved with undivided concentration of when you are single. I’m not saying or insinuating that there aren’t some life purpose you discover only after marriage or something but I still stand that you need to know yourself, understand yourself, appreciate yourself, love yourself and empower yourself and your esteem at your single status. That is when it has more value and earn more values for you (from your partner and even onlookers) with a change in status.

 My dear, you need to wise up. If this involves you calling off your current relationship, then by all means, only if it does o. Do crazy stuffs you wont regret, Try ‘different’, maybe live expensive from time to time, be scarce to the general, travel light, earn stipends, risk passion, take time to love all persons and be excited. But you think or know you can manage your relationship and at the same time utilize your own self then why not. Be mature, grow along, grow together, experience life, be attentive, be patient and be adorable. Know that you aren’t married yet even as somebody in a steady relationship, you still have a ‘single status’ and that you are still ‘living’ and exploring and discovering and having fun and seeking adventures. It is totally terrible not knowing what you stand for or what you are living for…PURPOSE; it is like breathing without true existence, it is grave and shallow. You can only enjoy being single when indeed you are single, Once married or tied in commitment to someone it is always a different bargain altogether, and a promise? Yes it is. So always honor it.

To the One I love…I Love You! And to you my family here, I value you.

 

Controlling Anger…

push 2

There was a conversation I had recently with a group of persons about dealing with Anger, and guess what they said, particularly one married man among them and gosh, I was sad! He (they) said if the lady he (they) is/are dating is proving stubborn or from time to time provokes him (them), he (they) would beat her up at least once so she understands and learn to start behaving. This was as against what I was advising them that in such situation, they ought to leave that scene for a while to calm their nerves in order to avoid afterwards regrets and Wait, you knew of her own anger issues too before getting married, why then did you go ahead knowing you couldn’t tolerate her? He wowed me by saying he wanted to help her learn manage her temperament, by beating?? (Ladies, please, know you know the reason this guy wants you in his life!) The married man was so bent on his decision to make her stop provoking him by beating her and this I term ‘Domestic Violence’ and believe me, that’s how it erupts.

struggle

You know, I’ve encountered other persons with Anger Issues and I know my dear, I know from what they’ve confessed to rather not have that temper disorder in their lives. You know, you do something and at that point, hell, nobody can correct you, nobody can calm you down, nobody can explain to make you see reasons as to why something/somebody that caused the anger happened that way. But right after you might have yielded to this devil (temper/anger) and reacted irrationally/badly (because that is always the results of reacting in anger; not in your right state of mind), you then come to realize how horribly far you had gone in your reacting, after which regret sets in.

One key way I can recommend for controlling Anger is YOU. Yes, I mean help from yourself. Efforts you (can) make to be better. And I say PRAY to God about it, that can be an automatic reformation of behavior divinely. Then, be cautious of other seemingly  little areas as being patient. Like I’d always say, it takes you to make or mar you. It’s all on you to bring something to life/existence and also same you to destroy the very same thing. So, Watch It!

FULL FRONTAL WITH SAMANTHA BEE

To control anger, you’d also have to learn to not take things to heart. Nothing is worth worrying about! Don’t take offenses or insults or abuses/disregards coming from anyone or any situation seriously. It is really not worth it. It is just a form of how humans live/express their fluctuating nature which can be provocative. We are flesh and so, are bound to act as one but it takes a greater being to live above the flesh and this is basically by what you ‘feed’ yourself, what you take into your body and mind. And, the resulting factor in the case where it is a positive (good) intake causes Joy, Laughter, Peace… this simply says it; LAUGH MORE, ALWAYS, It helps control how you react to external factors.

calm

When you suddenly feel angered or disgusted by a fellow’s act, one thing that impulse should help you do is biting down on your lips. This controls your action (reaction) to that disgusting act committed. Like, you bite your tongue or lips down and you are stopped from saying words or doing stuffs you most likely would regret at the passing of that time.

Finally, I’d say; Never Do Transfer of Aggression. Each person has one thing or the other they are silently going through, having someone impose another responsibility especially one that wasn’t their doing or isn’t pleasant can be pissing and annoying at the same time. Something you don’t like has been done to you? Deal with it and Maturely too! Stay Awesome Fam.

On The Verge Of Anger!

call anger

On The Verge of Anger!

No, don’t you dare give me that! How dare you raise your voice at me! Hey, we are together but I’m still not your age mate! Hell, control your insecurity and stop constituting a nuisance! No, No, No, I won’t take that from you or anybody else! What!? Even my younger siblings won’t ever do that around/with me… who then are you to? Because we are dating?? I asked you to be here in less than 10mins, and so you unnecessarily kept me waiting!? Who the bloody hell is that guy that keeps calling you? You are a damn stack illiterate, despite how learned you may seem!? I hate your presence! Can you just get lost already!

Here, these and many more are expressions of anger … and trust me, that is how chaos starts!!!

ANGER —-> This is an irrational reaction to something seemingly unpleasant to you especially at that moment of reacting irrespective of the other party’s attempt to make you see reasons for the behavior, or their inability to justify an act of theirs.

Hey there… the above is my own simply put definition to give you an overall and uncomplicated clear picture of what being Angry is all about.

break anger

Somebody failing at a point to rationally complete/carry out an act or decision based on the inability of the other party to correctly behave in a particular way expected of him/her which then provokes the initial person; the offended with an urge to cause to harm/ hurt the other person and generally inflict pain and God so help them both, the offender also at that point decides to not want to take the blame/responsibility of the offense and stay stubborn. Then, … (You keep guessing what that can result in).

And hey still, the ‘offended’ there just might be the irrational person who isn’t able to see the real essence of the act of the so called ‘offender’.

Unfortunately, some kinds of anger are from within and the whole of the reason of that reaction can’t be explained because they are purely irrational. Those with this kind of anger just happen to have it in their nature which could be inherited, almost looking uncontrollable.

Guys, it is DESTRUCTIVE! It is unappealing! It is disrespectful! It is distasteful! It is unpleasant, not Romantic! It is consuming! It is energy exhausting! It is illogical! It is devilish! It is irrational- illogical! It is depriving, snatches what we ought to enjoy!  ….

destroy

Are you perhaps wondering why I have DESTRUCTIVE in block letters? Yes, I’d tell you… it is worst. Okay, don’t get me wrong here. I’m not telling you that’s the only worse result of Anger. No, I am saying from that generates even many more un-desiring and terrible outcomes that deter the smooth communication or existence of a (any) type of relationship.

ANGER is from the devil. LOL. I’m getting spiritual right? But yea, trust me on that.

Dearies, I really don’t want you getting bored at this point because I sure am trying to get at something with this article and so, I would be doing the concluding part of it Next Week Thursday as always. Do be in touch and Yes, I love you! It’s gon be a nice weekend ahead…

For The Sake Of Love…

Finally we have it here. How has the ride through this series being for you guys?

For The Sake Of Love 2…

Chapter 4
I was truly worried. I loved Amaka and had hoped it was going to be my final test of love in a relationship. I had told myself I was going to settle down with Amaka, but the whole turn of events made this thought almost impossible. Amaka at this time came to me, pleading that I turn a blind eye to the exposed secrets and the fact that she had even tried to conceal it (however she got to know I knew about it already I don’t know and maybe it was from my attitude and the distance I was now keeping from her). This just made it totally easy for Jenny to try carrying out her mission (getting me back). 

Amaka was willing to accept the child I have with Jenny. Could this be true love?. I knew the whole decision making was solely on me now, Amaka had succumbed. Lord, I need directions  (I prayed). I knew that should have been the very first thing to do even before entering the relationships I had had (Jenny, Amaka and Others), but it wasn’t too late. That I was sure.
Amaka remained loyal to me, was as calm as ever and was patiently waiting to know my decisions. Jenny still had her attitudes. There I knew I had my answers. Amaka had made mistakes in her past, she knew it and was sorry for it but we were in the present. I also had my faults, I should have know better but that was how life would have it. I had found love and wasn’t going to let it go without a good fight.

Hello peeps, so tell me… did you expect a different outcome of the story? And please let me know what you thought it would have been. What are the lessons you got from this series and how has it improved your way of loving?
Thank you so much for sticking around to the end of the series. Do keep in touch for more inspiring feeds. I appreciate y’all 🙂.

For The Sake Of Love …

Hello guys, how has this week been so far? You know, all the hustling and bustling, the chit-chatting, the stalking and picking up news around #winks. I’ve had quite a week and lemme let you know, that path has only just begun but I’ll definitely pull through!

So, we dropped off last week from…

young love

For The Sake Of Love 2…

CHAPTER 3

It looked just perfect. We could share our thoughts and emotions, since we both had a connection and were in the self-same situation. We became almost inseparable, always seen together, except when we had classes. Unluckily for us, our faculties were far apart. UNN is actually a big school, those who have been there will relate with what I am saying.

crosswalk love

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We were in love and the world could see it, but just as suddenly as it had happened, it began to fall apart. My ex came back into the picture, the one girl I had always truly loved before I met Amaka of course, Jenny always messed with my head and she knew it. I hated the fact that I couldn’t get her out of my head. No matter how hard I tried, I was never able to. She knew this and just used her cards too well. She was back and in her words, she was serious “and would stop at nothing to get me all to herself”.

Amaka on the other hand had a rough past she never told me, She had on 3 different occasions, with 3 different guys had 3 successful abortions, the last of which according to the doctors, might hinder her chances of giving birth in the future. While me on the other hand, had a child with Jenny which I never mentioned to her. One way or the other we had both found out about our secrets, one which we never cared to mention all the while. We were in our final year in the university, being a Law student and she, an Engineering student, our courses were to take 5 years each. So we had inadvertently been dating for 2 years. We were serious, so this was an issue. We had lied about a very important aspect of our lives to each other, and now it was out in the open.

The once sweet relationship suddenly turned sour. Its blooming leaves began to dry up. Many invariable outcomes kept surfacing, the course of which were slim. Our chances? We were in love, but how far could we have gone FOR THE SAKE OF LOVE???

Feel free to drop your comments in the box below and find out what happened next in our final edition of the series.

Do enjoy the rest of this great week !

For The Sake Of Love…

Hello guys, taking it from where we dropped off on the long anticipated story-line on FOR THE SAKE OF LOVE 2…. You missed out on previous edition of this write? Do click on this link to refresh https://horptie.wordpress.com/2017/04/06/for-the-sake-of-love-2/ .Thank you!

long distance

For The Sake Of Love 2…

CHAPTER 2

True to her thoughts, Emeka was long gone. After waiting for more than 30 minutes, he gave up and concluded she was not going to show up. Amaka sat under the tree, depressed and in thoughts. Her worst fears had come back to hunt her again. Would she find somebody to love her? Someone who was going to listen to her? Emeka was a guy her friend hooked her up with, he had just come to Enugu for a business trip and was to travel back to Lagos within the next hour, so he had to leave for the airport. It was in this moments of gloom that I showed up. She contemplated on what reaction to give me, she tried to stay sad and angry at me for ruining her day, but she couldn’t. I had a smile on my face and she was loving it. Perhaps I could be a blessing in disguise after all.

distance

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He had a huge smile and she loved the beam from it. We got talking and in about a short while became best of friends. One thing led to another and we were already in a serious relationship. It felt like we had known each other for such a long while. We talked about family and it happened to be that we were both orphans and found ourselves in the exact same situation. So there it was, a connection, a deeper one had just been found. At long last she had found someone she could talk to. A friend, a brother, a lover, perhaps a husband and partner.She felt totally on top of the world, in the skies to be precise. How she had longed for this moment, even if it had happened just in a pass, she knew she would hold onto it forever. But here it was, looking like a real forever. Oh how she loved him already and would do anything to keep it as that and if it meant being still and quiet about some exceptions…yes! She was willing to live the forever.

Hi guys… How do you think the rest of the story unfolded? Did it work out as she planned? Did it go beyond…good or bad? How far did it go and where? Stay ready as we conclude on the story in our next edition of “for the sake of love”.