Renewing Your Long-Time Relationship.


Renewing Your Long-Time Relationship.

That guy that just wouldn’t allow himself be separated from work because to him, a loyal, responsible guy’s gatta provide for his family! The ever busy mom… “I must take care of the house, put things to order, make everywhere neat and be the best wife and mommy in the house’’… forgetting you are still somebody’s babe and that sweet girlfriend. C’mon, you’ve still got a life!

So many things revolve round relationships and marriage that you forget who you’ve wanted to be… how sweet and attractive you’ve told yourself you’d always stay …. Such is bound to happen especially when the ‘’more’’ responsibilities start flowing in and as a good person/mind should cater for it, there you drift away. But you gatta take a firm mind-decision to constantly be reminded of staying young and fresh (not outdated) for your partner. I saw a movie just yesterday night – ‘’NAKED 2017’’ — even in old age you must promise to never stop proving yourself to your partner, promise to never stop loving your spouse, promise to improve on yourself but never actually changing how you’ve and cared for your partner. To me, that’s definitely not a bad one.


How can I get this guy to take a few moments off his regular? How can I get my guy to take a longer look at me… okay so what I mean here is spend more time assessing me, the new changes in me, more stuffs I want to do and the likes of it. Because the truth is, your guy not taking interest in you, doesn’t look/stare at you just might mean so many more things which my dear I say is talk for another day, Sorry.

So getting your guy to take off time aside the usual for you or should we put it as ‘for you both’. That would depend on the guy we talking about here because they each are different, with very amazingly different features, irrespective of being male. Plus, the underlining scenarios for each relationship sure hell differs despite the saying of ‘’there’s nothing new that happens under the earth’’; I for one have just come across very recently a relationship scenario I never would have thought could exist, dear, it was so daring. LOL.  And so, I can’t generalize/ prescribe tips that is expected to apply to all. You just would have to find out which would work for your man and in some cases woman #tongueout.

Those things you normally did when the relationship was still a ‘virgin’, lol … You’d have to attend back to them here. This might require serious think-back, depending on how long ago you newly got into the relationship. Like a fellow counsellor -Mrs Funke Felix-Adejumo- said and I quote, ‘’No man wants an old bride around, you just have to remember that you’re still somebody’s wife no matter how old you get and so you should never stop trying to make him happy’’. Never think you’ve reached the destination just because you guys are ‘locked-in’ on each other and so don’t see a reason for putting in more efforts to make the relationship young and fun. In case you’ve forgot, lemme remind you that even long-old marriages of 50years still crumble. You surprised and begin to ask what those ones still want a marriage for? I tell you, sex will wane and


companionship will become a big deal… then the path through this marriage journey will surface—how well you guys worked it out in your dating/courtship periods… then, you will realize how you should and need to ‘’Renew the Contents of your relationship’’ all year long!

Those very little, seemingly ridiculous things you did or noticed and paid quality attention to; maybe not voiced, but I tell you got your partner tripping all over. Nothing you do, no matter how small or insignificant it might seem that you do in a relationship is not unaccounted for, trust me. CHECK OUT my IG Page @horptie_counselling, I’d be dropping a video of some of these things you didn’t realize contribute(d) greatly to how well your relationship will be doing/has been doing. The closeness, the teasing, the hypes, the friendship, bond and connections you’ve built over the years in your relationship and dating periods will tell at the tail-end of your marriage. Then again I say, the communication, dependency-relationship, reliance you’ve had will come handy to making the whole thing solid and worth-while.

Hey Guys! You sure missed me… I think 😉 . Any gists you’ve got down there for me? … Do let it in *p .

Maybe this is for those who have been dating for long, you know, those that really feel they wanna take their time before fully committing/lock down in marriage(not like you a’int already if you are a faithful partner)… Or maybe this is for those already married couples and they just might have been feeling distant in their marriage-relationship. Well, that’s up to the individual readers locked-in on this write #smiling.






Keeping A Long Distance Relationship.

long distance

Keeping A Long Distance Relationship.

Hello guys. Yea, straight to business! LOL.

People most times mistake a long distance relationship for only those relationships with each partner based in different locations; states or countries. Well I’d say NO! Why? Here…. Imagine where two people in a relationship and same location/ state get to not see as they probably would have wanted. Stuffs happen… work, regularly arising occasions, business schedules and many more unforeseen circumstances. Hey wait, I know you gatcha make up your mind and always make time available to spend for each other but I tell you the reality of thing? It might not always happen the way you thought or expected or want… that my dear, is a given. You just have to be sure the relationship you have is what you want and then the work can fall in place, won’t always be easy trust me especially when times come you just want someone to meet up with, talk, show affection, cuddle with, hang out, and sometimes just share the moment with… just to be together. So yes, I can say that it won’t always be easy but make sure the efforts put to it are worthwhile and ‘necessary’. Knowing that it’s a mutual effort makes the fun in it achievable and eventually pay off, that is important – the joint effort; it really does take two to tangle.

A Long Distance Relationship sure hell works!

mending love

Communication, I still insist and a clear, unbiased, honest one at that, I must say with no insufficient information and true openness, is key to all things… friend-ship, work-ship, court-ship, partner-ship, relation-ship… you name it – ‘’ship’’! #grinning.

You know, I’ve heard of some relationships that are treated like business (my opinion), but c’mon, where is it heard that dating couples, excitedly in love set down rules on how many times they’d meet in a month, already picked out locations and activities things supposed to be fun for them would be done!! Lawd! I don’t know if to be vexed right now 😉 . You have to be spontaneous, let this fun flow. Let there be uniqueness. Let there be something to look forward to and keep boredom off your lane.

Keeping your Long Distance needs individual effort and at the same thing a work-together by you guys in the relationship, making it effective with agreement while dealing with one. See some key things below I concluded should be in place for that to happen.

=> Constant Communication. Don’t take this for granted, and Dear, be expressive enough and as possible. Speak it out, be cautious tho, so as not to say stuffs to be regretted later.

=> Resolve disputes or disagreements immediately. This is closely connected to the first point. Where you don’t hold back on exactly how you feel about stuffs but making sure to be polite and at the same time understanding your partner’s point of view. Don’t be rigid. Don’t let pride or ego destroy something you should enjoy for a long time to come. Learn to say those magic words of sincere ‘‘I am sorry’’ even when you ain’t at fault, it saves a whole lot of stress.

=> Drive out Negative Thoughts. Don’t always assume a misunderstanding or a brief break in communication is the likely end of the relationship. Well let’s not be deceived here, a consistent and unlikely resolving rift in your communication especially when you can put a difference in the way it used to be and the way it is now can mean the relationship is in danger and an open eye should be set on that relationship to recover it. All things works with the mind. Making up your minds about wanting the relationship, and jointly working at it is a big-deal effort to the success of that relationship. Be open, Be free of doubts, Be Positive.

=> Never Assume. Never think your partner should know it. Never think your partner should understand. C’mon, we are all humans and bound to have our fair cut out share of emotions. Tell him/her how it really is. Make him or her understand. Also, don’t assume he or her is just not trying or putting effort or purposely doing something you think is wrong. Never ever assume, that thing destroys the whole thing even before it fully become.


=> Be calm. This one is a super power, lol. Could require a bit of energy especially when you have to subject your mind to not reacting immediately, but yes, it is very achievable and effective.

=> Irrespective of, try to be independent. Don’t make your partner the ‘all-center’ of your life. Hey, don’t misread this. Never do stuffs that could interpret for “I am single’’ when you are actually in a relationship. Ask for advice, support and backings from your partner but also have an independent mind that can make decisions. What of times your need to reach a decision on something and cant access your partner, do you now let such opportunities waste? So, you need to be strong (…and there for yourself) and be firm. I’m simply saying… consider your partner when making any decisions but also occupy your mind with pretty edifying stuffs to make your time productive and at the same time, Be your own person, You have a life; it’s your life, Live it.


And remember, when you finally get to be in each other’s company, make the most of the moments… let it be worth the while and strong enough to retain thoughts till the next meeting. I hope y’all indeed been having a fantastic week and yaayy… Sallah break gon make it all the more fun and enough time to cool off till another work-week starts 😉 . I love you.




Hey guys… feels like a while you heard from me yea? It’s been clumsy on this end but more than ever, reassuring. #grinning, more reason for today’s post.

Awesome day going by with a chat with an old friend of mine who in the process asked what motivated me into blogging and on reflex I said ‘Love’ *smiling but immediately countered it because she for who she is was going to start drilling me with various unimaginable questions (if you get what I mean).

I’ve had similar questions from other persons over time I started blogging and trust me, it was well accompanied with various other questions and also why I chose the aspects I’ve been counseling on (Friendship and Relationship) only the words each person has used have been different varying from ‘Motivation’ to ‘Inspiration’ to ‘Leading’ to ‘Reason’ to ‘What I derive’ and lots like that with each word carrying different weight in content of expression.



I’d say this word is as good and well related to every other word in its class of content.

Okay here. What pushes you into doing what you find yourself doing? What influence does someone or something has into making you a better you? What is your drive? What inspires you? What’s the motive for doing something? Don’t miss it here by assuming ‘the end thing you achieve from doing something’. Inspiration most times is the ‘the beginning’ for wanting to do/achieve something, it often times is the reason you are encouraged/gingered to explore, It is your need to aim at/for something… Excellence! That thing that intrigues…arouse your interest, fascinates you to becoming, to finding, to discover other than what is on the surface, to plough deeper within, beneath, to reach down… inwards, to pulling forth… breaking through what you feel inside or think you are capable of. WHAT BRINGS A BETTER SIDE OF YOU OUT?!  Yes that is your Inspiration, your Motivation, your Drive, your Influence(r)….

It could be just One thing, It could be many things and It could be stuffs (maybe someone, Music, a picture, happy moments, quiteness or anything) coming up from time to time. Because yes, I can tell you this particular write was inspired by the conversation I mentioned having with this old friend of mine. So yes, find that one thing or many things that opens you up to new ideas. Open your mind, free your spirit to everything around you. Inspiration sometimes ain’t fore-planned, it could just happen/come to be. More reason you should only ever have positive things and minds/people around; a bad person anchors/ brings a bad omen along so you know what a good person only would do.


Keep values and valuables around you, jewels are difficult to find but never absent… Seek diligently and you will find it. There’s no rush. There was a time an older friend of mine said he disposed himself of all, I mean ALL the friends he had. You probably might be thinking he didn’t have much and that was why he could… No, I know him well to know the popular nature he must have always had. And it must have felt like life was going to end, but he took the decision and made the choice with a bold step and here he is today… A better him. So You can too… with Determination and Focus, you’d be amazed at what you can achieve.

Try it and Come Challenge me if it falls short of anything I’ve said to assure you here. I love You!



Relationship Goals.

The feeling of knowing you are being loved is an exciting one; I mean the love of a romantic nature, the one you get from the opposite sex, the one from a manly person, one who indeed is caring and has the fear of God at heart. A love from someone who would go lengths to righteously satisfy a fellow being, love from someone who is a perfect gentle person at heart… Yes that kind of being loved.

It is intriguing, whelming, amazing, head-scattering, lol. Like mehn! One that almost makes you forget who you’ve always being or should I say who you’ve learn to become *smiles. Then you all over again see you need to gather your composure so you can reorganize and aim properly those plans you might have had earlier even before that love/ relationship came to be. In the process of trying to think now, you just might wanna set a few ‘love goals’ to help you sit-up, tidy your mind, be a better partner, spice and add more fun to the relationship. Trust me when I say nobody is ever born boring, you just have to learn to be adventurous and spontaneously entertaining in your relationship, #winks and this is the whole of why I’m having this post. I hope you find it handy… Relax, Read, Crave it and ofcourse whelm in it!


  • Travel the world with bae and taking numerous pictures but remember, bae has to work too o.
  • Pray with bae. Countless times I’ve heard people say even what is good needs prayers which is true. Pray about the future…career, kids, families. A couple that prays together stays together and do exploits.
  • Visit fun places with bae and take pictures (my specialty #grinning) eez nor eferytime seriousness o jare, sometimes play too.
  • Talk/ Plan things with him/her (no one wants to go into something that has not been adequately planned). What are the things you both expect/want in our future?.
  • Bath together. This is for married couples because even though married you are still in a relationship and still dating #winks.
  • Have picnics. Silent moments are important.
  • Read together. The Bible and books generally.
  • Wear coupling clothes.
  • Travel to France together.
  • Have twin-dates with close friends. Keeps the friendship alive.
  • Dance together. Try new steps; Jlive, quickstep, cha cha-cha, waltz, tango, merengue, et all. Fumble while at it. Be a little foolish with just yourselves. Dance in formal gatherings, ball dance etc.
  • Make out with no hands. (This one got me personally. Bae we are so doing this when we get married, it’s our challenge!)


  • Have a relationship just like friends. Be normal, throw pillows, mess around with words but still respect ourselves (no foul/insulting words).
  • Talk about anything and everything. Play with just about anything.
  • Be with someone that won’t judge me or want me to change who I am for any reason. Note though that you might indeed have to change some behaviors, maybe because they are bad but you didn’t think so before. And sometimes not because they are bad but because you need to adjust to accommodate the person you are with in the relationship. Sacrifices and compromises are meant to be made.
  • To lean physically into bae, cuddling and all.
  • Have a shoulder to rest on.
  • Be with someone that is willing to stay no matter how difficult it is or could be.
  • Be with someone who can take my shits, emotions and all.
  • Have smart and beautiful kids
  • Have fun all day when we are together
  • PEACE OF MIND BIKO. This is silly essential in a relationship, in my relationship. Peace of mind about what we have, a conviction that it’s meant to be. Peace of mind from partner, not always giving me reasons to be uptight and all. Peace of mind that bae isn’t just fooling around with you. Peace of mind whenever I think of bae.
  • Go on tour, sight-seeing, shopping and all every year till my teeth stops dropping.
  • Watch late night movies and snacks with bae on couch.
  • Have late night hang out with bae while kids are at Granny’s place.
  • Be with someone who understands me and not try to control me. At the same time not acting like he or she is at a disadvantage.
  • Laying on bae and listening to our rhyming breathing.
  • To be bae’s weakness. I want to be the one bae can die for. I want to be the one that allows bae do those great things you thought you couldn’t do. I crave a love so deep the oceans would be jealous!


  • Marrying bae is absolutely #relationshipgoals for me.
  • Laughing at the silly things we do personally.
  • Take a walk holding hands.
  • Visit all the wonders of the world.
  • Cook for bae. Make meals and all. Wash used dishes and talk with a glass of wine.
  • Eat breakfast in bed with bae.
  • Cut bae’s nails. Paint bae’s nails. Plait her hair/ play with boo’s hair. Make up for her.
  • Shout on top of my voice in the mountains with bae. Tell boo how much I appreciate him/her for being my baby.
  • Sing to her and show her my dancing skills.

Rear view of a couple sitting on beach

Lawd, trust me…there’s more and so many others, Never anything wrong in day-dreaming and fantasies but let’s drop the pen here. Just be yourself (ves) and I believe the ideas would keep flowing in. Communication is key in every relationship and cannot be overemphasized. Share ideas, share thoughts, be open, be honest and sincere but also very considerate and TRUST yourselves.

Big Shout-Out to All those who helped gather these many goals… Thanks for always being there. And to the emotional helper… You are appreciated.

What It Takes…

You know that moment everything happens so fast, all happening together; at the same time and then it has taken place? Well yes, that was my last week but above all you come out shining and even brighter knowing the Lord is good.

There never is that new thing that hasn’t happened before, probably it’s a new channel of turn out but my dears, it’s never new, It is life, It is… Welcome to the Real World.

In all it’s about you being positive, knowing to take it in well, staying optimistic, standing tall above all of these; Being the best you can ever be! Don’t be taken or drifted by the wind of life, that is life and how it might want you to be but this is You… You are precious, You are worthy, You are brave, You are strong, You are priceless, You are amazing, You are your unique self. Nobody, No situation, Nothing can take that (away) from you. 

You gotta realize and walk high in that esteem. You gatta determine to live life and live it to the full, to the best you can. Make other aspects of living bloom even when a part seem trembling or tumbling. You stand tall above the wind. You take the wind by the edge and control the whole of it because that is who you can be when you decide to be/ what you can do. You then sit and observe with faith just how God would turn it out and up for your good. You should stay good and kind in spite of all. Be good to yourself and to others. Be gentle ‘cos your-self is also taking in just as much of whatever it is as ‘You’ are. You ask who the ‘You’ there is? Well yes… your body, your spirit, your soul as much as are One(you) are different comPARTment, all ‘human’ of themselves. 

Be calm, then you can strategize. Be sure you have just about only the right set of company around you, they help you understand and accept and appreciate all of the moments of the happening because believe me or not; You’d have to play those scenes going forward in life. Just make sure you have it right at the moment it is all coming on. Then and only then can you say ‘You Conquered’!

Wanna share how your week went? You could just drop a word or two to encourage someone out there too. I love you guys…

Enjoying Your Singleness…

musicEnjoying Your Singleness…

Hey guys!

This is a post I think I had jotted down since late last year or very early this year and of course, it is for you, me and us #smiles. So yea, I say, do you all agree with me on how great being single can be? How satisfying it could be? How desiring it is to have all your time and thoughts to just yourself? In all these, I still will say being with someone who really loves and cares about you is way pleasing to being single *winks.

You know, I’ve seen relationships back then in school when students lived the couple life, giving excuses that one party involved couldn’t secure accommodation and the other person had to accommodate. And this kind of situation gets to the point where the guy would always challenge the girl of(on) her whereabouts and her activities. To not look insecure, he uses phrases as ‘He was lonely the entire day’ or that ‘He was hungry’ or ‘She wasn’t available when he needed her’ etc. Guys, even you need to enjoy your single status! That of course is if you are not dating/ in any relationship. You only get single when you are actually single. But you are in a relationship? My dear, by all means I say enjoy that. It is a privilege to have somebody be into you, love you, cherish you, admire you, care for you and to actually stay with you.

Being single and actually living as a married couple… how then, when do you get to enjoy those moments of not being married yet!? When do you then get to discover those very hidden or little stuff about yourself which takes serious concentration to find? How will you know to distinguish between who ought to be in your life because they fit your living-purpose? How do you know who rightly compliment you and who would make the living right? All these, most times if not all can only be greatly achieved with undivided concentration of when you are single. I’m not saying or insinuating that there aren’t some life purpose you discover only after marriage or something but I still stand that you need to know yourself, understand yourself, appreciate yourself, love yourself and empower yourself and your esteem at your single status. That is when it has more value and earn more values for you (from your partner and even onlookers) with a change in status.

 My dear, you need to wise up. If this involves you calling off your current relationship, then by all means, only if it does o. Do crazy stuffs you wont regret, Try ‘different’, maybe live expensive from time to time, be scarce to the general, travel light, earn stipends, risk passion, take time to love all persons and be excited. But you think or know you can manage your relationship and at the same time utilize your own self then why not. Be mature, grow along, grow together, experience life, be attentive, be patient and be adorable. Know that you aren’t married yet even as somebody in a steady relationship, you still have a ‘single status’ and that you are still ‘living’ and exploring and discovering and having fun and seeking adventures. It is totally terrible not knowing what you stand for or what you are living for…PURPOSE; it is like breathing without true existence, it is grave and shallow. You can only enjoy being single when indeed you are single, Once married or tied in commitment to someone it is always a different bargain altogether, and a promise? Yes it is. So always honor it.

To the One I love…I Love You! And to you my family here, I value you.


Controlling Anger…

push 2

There was a conversation I had recently with a group of persons about dealing with Anger, and guess what they said, particularly one married man among them and gosh, I was sad! He (they) said if the lady he (they) is/are dating is proving stubborn or from time to time provokes him (them), he (they) would beat her up at least once so she understands and learn to start behaving. This was as against what I was advising them that in such situation, they ought to leave that scene for a while to calm their nerves in order to avoid afterwards regrets and Wait, you knew of her own anger issues too before getting married, why then did you go ahead knowing you couldn’t tolerate her? He wowed me by saying he wanted to help her learn manage her temperament, by beating?? (Ladies, please, know you know the reason this guy wants you in his life!) The married man was so bent on his decision to make her stop provoking him by beating her and this I term ‘Domestic Violence’ and believe me, that’s how it erupts.


You know, I’ve encountered other persons with Anger Issues and I know my dear, I know from what they’ve confessed to rather not have that temper disorder in their lives. You know, you do something and at that point, hell, nobody can correct you, nobody can calm you down, nobody can explain to make you see reasons as to why something/somebody that caused the anger happened that way. But right after you might have yielded to this devil (temper/anger) and reacted irrationally/badly (because that is always the results of reacting in anger; not in your right state of mind), you then come to realize how horribly far you had gone in your reacting, after which regret sets in.

One key way I can recommend for controlling Anger is YOU. Yes, I mean help from yourself. Efforts you (can) make to be better. And I say PRAY to God about it, that can be an automatic reformation of behavior divinely. Then, be cautious of other seemingly  little areas as being patient. Like I’d always say, it takes you to make or mar you. It’s all on you to bring something to life/existence and also same you to destroy the very same thing. So, Watch It!


To control anger, you’d also have to learn to not take things to heart. Nothing is worth worrying about! Don’t take offenses or insults or abuses/disregards coming from anyone or any situation seriously. It is really not worth it. It is just a form of how humans live/express their fluctuating nature which can be provocative. We are flesh and so, are bound to act as one but it takes a greater being to live above the flesh and this is basically by what you ‘feed’ yourself, what you take into your body and mind. And, the resulting factor in the case where it is a positive (good) intake causes Joy, Laughter, Peace… this simply says it; LAUGH MORE, ALWAYS, It helps control how you react to external factors.


When you suddenly feel angered or disgusted by a fellow’s act, one thing that impulse should help you do is biting down on your lips. This controls your action (reaction) to that disgusting act committed. Like, you bite your tongue or lips down and you are stopped from saying words or doing stuffs you most likely would regret at the passing of that time.

Finally, I’d say; Never Do Transfer of Aggression. Each person has one thing or the other they are silently going through, having someone impose another responsibility especially one that wasn’t their doing or isn’t pleasant can be pissing and annoying at the same time. Something you don’t like has been done to you? Deal with it and Maturely too! Stay Awesome Fam.