The INTERVIEW…

This personality is somebody I know, for his honesty and bluntness and yes, he is also very nice. Which is the whole reason I chose to have this interview with him. Do bear that our guest will like to stay anonymous for reasons best known to him, but you can be sure to take his responses as a large sample size analysis. Experience, He’s Got!

next interview coverThe INTERVIEW.

ME: Hello, Mr B. How are you doing today?

Mr B: I am very well, thank you. And you?

ME: I’m good too, thanks. To not take too long of your time, we will go straight to the matter we have on ground. So, …

ME: What is a Dating Relationship to you?

Mr B: Being in a relationship with a person means having a connection with such person. By connection I mean a bond. You both understand each other.

ME: Okay. So it is not basically love, maybe at first sight? Could be intellect thereabout?

Mr B: There’s no such thing as love at first sight for me. You can fall in love with someone by merely seeing the person. The word ‘love’ is deep but sadly, it’s been abused. What you feel when you see someone for the first time is an attraction. An attraction that could stimulate feelings that overtime could run deep and nature into love.

ME: So, what does Marriage mean to you or what leads to Marriage for you?

Mr B: Marriage to me means commitment and sacrifice. When two people in a relationship agree and decide to put everything else aside and come together to live as one, that’s a sacrifice. To get married, you need to be in love.

ME: Are you a love fanatic? Do you solely believe love can work everything out in a relationship/marriage?

Mr B: Of course not. Love isn’t enough. There are things bigger than it.

interview marriage

Me: Tell me, should age mates marry each other? If no, why not?

Mr B: I won’t say they should. But yeah, they can. If they can tick all boxes. By the boxes, I mean whatever anyone needs to do before getting married. Then, why not.

ME: Do you think a relationship should kick off first from friendship then progress to dating and then courtship before marriage? Which would it be for you…friendship first before dating?

Mr B: Yeah. It’s unavoidable. You can’t marry a stranger. The moment you get talking, you’re friends already. You can’t date if you’re not friends. You don’t meet someone today and start dating on the spot.

ME: What is courtship?

Mr B: The period of time before marriage where both parties try to get to know each other before they get married. It’s the stage of asking questions and trying to know all they haven’t known about themselves. It’s just a formal way of knowing each other. But in actual sense, you get to know each other gradually from the day you first met.

ME: What do you think of spouse of same career getting married? From both the general outlook and personally. And what professions do you think it’s cool if they got married to each other?

Mr B: I’ll start from personally. I have nothing against it. I could actually do it. As for generally, there’s absolutely nothing wrong also. About professions, those in the commercial and arts category would be cool. Engineers or people in the Medical profession won’t be a good idea basically because of the amount of time they don’t have at their disposal as a result of their too busy schedule.

ME: Would you stay in a relationship or even mere friendship with someone out of pity? Or at your inconvenience?

Mr B: No I can’t do that. I’ll quit. Applies everywhere. I won’t be your friend out of pity.

ME: What stage/level of dating can you permit to while away time? Like how long can you stay in a relationship knowing you are just playing around?

Mr B: If we both admit it’s not a serious one, then we can go on. But if she thinks it’s serious, I won’t keep deceiving her.

ME: What!!! How can you tell if she’s thinking it’s serious?

Mr B: You’d know. Girls take almost anything seriously. So knowing if a girl is taking a relationship seriously isn’t an issue.

Me: Then it means you can date for fun… Shouldn’t dating be because you want something serious coming at the end of it?

Mr B: Yes I can date for fun. It all depends on how you define your relationship. If you both want something out of it, then at some point in time in the relationship you’d have said it.

ME: Wow… You must be a hell of a play-boy!

interview 2

ME: So, what do you feel about ‘Monitoring’ in a relationship? Your partner always wanting to know where you at, what you doing, with whom and the likes.

Mr B: It’s needed and unavoidable. But it could become too much and annoying. The limit is relative with individuals. Only specific scenarios and the exact person/how I feel about the person will tell how far I would tolerate.

ME: So you don’t think it is insecurity? Then what will you classify as insecurity.

Mr B: There’s a thin line between jealousy and insecurity. Some individuals have chronic insecurity issues, they feel it for no reason. But ideally, insecurity is as a result of events that might have led the insecure person to feel that way by his or her partner.

ME: What is your take on double dating?

Mr B: Not cool. Not good. It shouldn’t be done at all. Only players do it. It creates issues even when the relationship isn’t serious.

ME: For someone who can date for fun that’s quite a thought. Thank you so much for your time. It was an honor having you here but before you leave, could you please drop a word or two for our readers out there, advice… anything at all.

Mr B: They should endeavor to define their relationships before they go deep into it.

There you have it beloved…I hope you’d be rightly able to deduce from the above contents what you should do and be. Stay Awesome!

 

 

For The Sake Of Love…

chapter1love

For The Sake Of Love 2…

CHAPTER 1

I was feeling restless on one dull evening and decided to take a stroll to the restaurant close home. On my way down the lane, I looked up and there, I met her.

There was this uneasy feeling about how she was looking, she looked disturbed and worried. This was the same girl I had bumped into some time ago. Being the gentleman that I was, I felt I should walk up to her and cheer her up, though a bit reluctant at first, I eventually summoned up courage and walked towards her (after all, the worst she could do was to snub me, and thankfully, it wasn’t a crowded place).

As I moved closer, what my eyes saw was a lot more different from what I thought it saw from afar. She was a very pretty lady, her hair looked like gold, and her skin felt so supple I could pierce through them with my eyes. I continued to stare, little did I realize that I had stopped moving and she had raised her heads from her shoulder to see who was walking towards her. “Hi”, “hello” “errm” (I stuttered), this had never happened to me. I was always this confident when talking to a lady, I never looked for what to say. But for the first time in my life, I stood and talked, but nothing came out. “Hello”, she said, “how may I help you”? “Hi, I’m Jerry” and then just like that it all came back. I felt this adrenaline flow from my veins and all my confidence was there, right there that one would almost see physically.

Chapt1Love

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Amaka as she would eventually tell me was her name, has always had this fear of never finding love since her early days in the university. Growing up was hard, she lost her parents at a very tender age of 4 to a ghastly motor accident along Benin-Ore expressway, and got adopted by one of her rich uncles. Though comfortable, she never felt the love a child needed. Amaka’s adopted home already had 6 children in it. She struggled to get attention, despite being a victim of circumstance. She felt odd and yes she was. She knew she would hold dearly whatever little love she found.

I on the other hand, had just finished defending my project and felt this relief as that was what had been basically on my mind for the greater part of the whole session. The defense went well, I was able to successfully answer all questions thrown at me by 3 Professors, and about 5 Senior lecturers in the faculty, It was on my way to my apartment outside of the school that I had bumped into Amaka. She was half running half walking, where she could possibly be going to, girls like this shouldn’t go through so much stress, If only I had a car, I had thought to myself. She gasped for air and bent to gather her stuffs. I’m so sorry I said I rushed to pick her phone which was almost rolling into the gutter nearby. As I returned to give it to her our eyes met. For a moment none of us said a word, then I smiled and apologized one more time. Unknowingly to me, I was the same guy they always talked about in her room. Mr. Ebony as I was usually called (after winning all 3 awards in the department since my 100 level days in the University, I didn’t expect anything different really), and to think I was right there, standing and talking to her was enough to give her the jitters – I guess -. She returned the smile and hurriedly left before I could say any other thing. Not even a phone number? Will I ever see her again? I said to myself as I watched her jog down the road, her hips swaying in unison.

amakaLove

Amaka was in a hurry to meet someone, a certain Emeka she was supposed to meet about half an hour ago, obviously she was late and that was the reason she didn’t see me coming in the first place. Emeka might be the love she needed, the one to keep her fears at bay for as long as she could manage to hold him and her delay could have him angry and leave. As she ran, she told herself to forget whatever it is that just happened. It’s nothing, it’s the devil trying to prevent me from getting happiness, and she consoled herself.

What do you think happened next? Did she hook up with the waiting guy? How did the whole thing turn out? Find out in our next edition of “for the sake of love” next week.

Ciao!!! 🙂

For The Sake of Love 1…

love sake

For The Sake of Love…

First, tell me,  …. What would you do for love? What can you allow for love sake? To what length/extent would you cause damage in the name of loving? What sacrifices can you make to justify love/ loving? What are even the signs you see to really justify the love does exist?

Love is a deep, irresistible feeling of a radiating joy through affection. Yes, its as simple as that for me #smiles. Love involves sacrifices and a lot of it at that. Love requires total devotion and commitments of all sorts and in all areas/aspects but in good ways for it to indeed be successful, or should I put it as for it to be actualized. It takes lengths and depths to fulfill love course. It takes the mind and heart working in strength to bring love to life but we must also realize that as much strength (energy) as can be needed, stress ain’t included in showing love. Here I’d like to employ the use of a dictionary meaning to explain just how strength differs from Stress as much as they might seem synonymous.

—–> Strength is an input of energy to get work done, mostly positively, It is a state of being mentally strong. While, Stress is exhausting energy, pressure in getting a work done, mostly emotionally draining.

In the context of love now, Strength is your totality, your very being of existence, your commitment to achieving sensory openness of my partner, the extent to which you are willing to go/ that you would go to express love and to bring love to action, the extent of your loving somebody and also your Passion to loving, while Stress is emotional pressure exerted, distress, sensory overload.

You don’t out of love put your own emotions to jeopardy. You don’t in the name or course of love cause harm of whatever kind to yourself. No, you are special. You are your own person. You are love itself as God is love and you, his image. Love exists because of You. You should be in charge of love and not the other way…You rule it!

unfading love

Like the saying, ‘Love don’t cost a thing’ may slightly apply but maybe in a little different light in the sense that… while you have to make sacrifices to the one you claim to love or make evident the presence of the love you say you feel, you still shouldn’t go through hell proving it. While indeed the love may be present in whatever the situation at hand, it shows its not real or true and not worth it when it takes too much from you be it financially, emotionally, health-wise or becomes a burden and draws much more heartache than necessary. As much as Love takes perseverance and patient, it still wouldn’t be hell living through or in it. Love is with genuine affection, with all understanding, loving oneself in loving somebody else and that shouldn’t only be to the one you are dating. Love is to be expressed to all humanity. Everyone deserves love. Everyone should get it. It is deserving and pleasing and pleasant to His sight.

Hey there, those are my thoughts and how I relate them to the initial listed questions. Would really love to hear your own views and share your ideas of what Love should cost, this writeup will be in editions and so I’m looking forward to your comments…. Thank You!

From A Sweet Heart.

Teach (Be) What You Preach!

preach

I know this looks upside down but yes, it’s no mistake what I’ve titled this article as.

How is your day going lovely people out there? Mine has been good…very good so I hope it is mutual 🙂  .

Ever realized that a great number of behaviors are influential and automatically learnt by people around/ onlookers? This is you indirectly, unconsciously teaching what you act (/are) which can be quite different from what you say (i.e. preach) and encourage the general public to emulate. So now, let’s reanalyze the above expression; your act is what people see and learn .i.e. who you are, your attitude, behavior, what you subconsciously teach and might not have noticed while what you say can be your preaching which in the whole if caution aint taken could be entirely opposite. You gatta BE WHAT YOU PREACH to everybody irrespective of what/who they are.

teach

As a public figure, you can’t act saucy because you claim to be busy but when you have an audience you give speeches of how you want them to be ‘not saucy’ and of great behaviors…that is total blasphemy! Okay that seemed extreme yea? Yea, you have to be a doer of your own word, only then will it be right for your words to have magnifying effects as to what you want done. I hope I am explicit enough for you #smiles.

Be kind because you tell others to be

Be prudent because you encourage others to save

Be good because you want the society and general people/ place to be of good act and be safe.

I know that looks a little backwards because that’s as against you first being it then automatically having it preached but if that is what will encourage/push you to be a better person and act well then it is good enough reason to stand as that…

Reflect on what I’ve just said, take a deep thinking… We All Have To Always Act Consciously.

 

More…Self-Love!

side self.jpgMy Awesome People,

It is another end day in this fulfilling week, sure its been pleasant to and for you yea? As I earlier promised in the week to drop more on the amazing title Self Love, well yeah, I am here to fill you in and I trust you would find these tips impacting.

Self-Love as dropped off in previous post is about total loving of oneself, but this doesn’t just happen. Steps are involved in recognizing just how to embark on the process of being in love with yourself and amongst many others, I will highlight these very few which I know are the basics…

  • Discovering yourself. This is about finding yourself mainly studying who you are, knowing what you can be, what you possess, what encompasses you, your capabilities, your totalities both in quality and quantity (don’t mind the outlook of those words), your overall (this includes anything and everything that sums you up including the very big stuffs about you like your love language, desires, wants, passion, what gets you, your appetite to things, actions and reaction down to the least details as habits, eating habits, likes, dislikes, moods, those things that gets you excited).
  • Decision to stay unmoved by the ‘negatives’ which ranges from opinions to attitude to so many others. People bluff; wanting to chatter and its likes. This is very normal, it happens but also entirely depend on if you will accept or not. Don’t let one or more chitchat get to you negatively and ruining your esteem. Oh dear, these things aint worth nothing! You are much more and more than that. You own your world; Live it, Rule it!

 

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  • Decision to stay happy. Things will occurs, stuffs will come up taking different turns of scenarios but it is up to you to focus and stay unshaken, at the same time radiating joy all the way. You gatta realize there is just this one living, you gatta aspire to be inspired to stay emotionally healthy because oh yes, being happy and in love with first oneself then others balances moods, appetites of all kinds, mental capacity, relating and relationships and also life in total. So Be Happy; Joy Radiating.
  • Totally respect your feelings. This may seem odd but let me say, however inanimate feelings (sad, happy, lively, shallow, and other nature it brings), it is material, tangible yet an intangible object. And so just as human deserves and want reverence, so also our feelings need to be acknowledged and accepted. Cherish all of it.
  • Treat yourself… you absolutely deserve this! Except times it seem impossible probably financial or time constraints. You should never deprive yourself of occasional luxuries and leisure… these things are absolutely necessary. It doesn’t have to be done elaborately , some other times it could simply be a stroll, sight-seeing, something not requiring so much spending just a little not usual for you. This would also aid in knowing what you can do, how you feel and even enjoying your singleness. Never wait to be swept off your feet by someone claiming to have the capacity to give you a treat before you actually make yourself feel like the prince or queen you really are. You deserve better dear.

 

self

Self-Love is accepting your whole being and allowing somebody see how near perfect you are, coming to terms with taking you for just who and what you are and not what they want you to be or what you act to be trying to pleasing others, then simply completing you and not just constituting your existence. I Do Love Y’all…Have a splendid weekend!!

Self Love…

selfloveHello fam,

So this happens to be my first post in quite sometime now which I sincerely do apologize about. I would like to put a temporary new dimension to the number of times I would be posting reasons being to stay committed and consistent to you my dear people. Thanks for being great viewers of mine over time here on board and how encouraging that has been, I cannot quantify with words! Okay so back at you with your expectations of me and I trust God’s leading to help me inspire you with the proper expressions and use of my words on this platform which am entirely grateful for.

I came across a post on my fellow blogger’s page @jaycolby.com which moved me and I promised to drop a bit on Self-love… that was an awesome piece down there friend!

Self-love by the conjunction of the word Self Love implies pure love for oneself; myself… It is a deep and intense care or/and affection which encompasses liking, delight, dedication, being strongly inclined towards yourself. It is an emphatic feeling which thrives, flourishes and increasingly prospers towards self.

prf self

You can not NOT love yourself and expect to give love to somebody else or be loved…where do you give something you lack or doesn’t even exist, Totally Impossible! Who you see yourself as is who you are eventually taken for. Being in love with oneself authenticates ability to love another person. As much as it is written in the Holy Book to love your neighbor which you can only materialize when you possess the will-power to love, the whole act of neighbor-loving is then just a tale when peace, care, charity, bliss and the likes are absent.

There is still so much expression to give on this subject but for your convenience, I would drop it off here to have a follow-up post later in the week, do stay in touch. Thanks so much for being here and Have a blessed day. #kisses!